You're Not Alone With Lee Anderson
Lee Anderson shares how he rebooted his life on two occasions, first when he came out as being gay and on a second occasion when he had a breakdown. This was the catalyst to him turning his life around and qualifying in occupational and social welfare and going on to support military personnel. He has then gone on to become a life coach and CBT practitioner and now lives in France. Although he has his own mental health illness, his life has completely transformed and he has found balance.
“You think to yourself that everyone's gonna disown you because you're doing something so bad, but you're not. And then since then, it’s never really been a big thing for me. You know, it's just been that and other aspects of who I am. It's never been an issue. I didn't really lose anybody in regards to my sexuality, if anything, I'd gained more friends. And so that was that kind of reboot of me as a person was quite big, you know, in respects of a sense of self. And a sense of self-love really as well”
“I remember the first time I said to myself, verbally, I am gay. And I was like, Oh my god, I really am gay. And it was such a huge relief. And then you move on to the next part of it. And you're like, what, who do I tell? How do I tell them? What do I say? And so you kind of break it down to its most simplest form and deal with it step by step by step. And I think the hardest person to tell was my mum.
“ Have you got a girl pregnant? I was like, No. Are you in trouble? No. Are you gay? And I was like, Yeah, she was like, as long as you're happy, I don't care. And I was like, Do you realise how much I've been turning myself inside as to I tell you this and she was like, as long as you're happy, I don't care. But a few years later, she did say to me that when I left that night, she kind of she was crying because she started to then fear you know, that, that maybe I was in some kind of danger for being gay, you know, people not liking it, that she wouldn't have any grandchildren. And so she said that she felt really selfish for that. And you know, that really moved me because you don't really think about that of the other person, you're just more about telling them about what's been burdening you, and not necessarily the impact it has on them.”
“I walked down to the church and sat down at this church and just felt safe there because I was within the church boundaries. So in my brain, I'm like, I'm safe. No one can touch me. And then it must have been a few hours, and my sister drove past. And then my sister picked me up, I went back to the house, and then kind of started from there. Really, it was nice getting some help.”
“One of the things that I learned about that was in order to understand the experiences of others, you have to understand you.”
“I was never really one for supervision, but I realised just how important it was to go in and go, why am I feeling this way? Why is this bothered me? What is it about this that I don't understand, and to be able to talk that through, really helped me, I think it helped me mature, you know, I think I became a bit more grown-up.”
“ And it was only after we'd finished and I was like I wish I had said a bit more because I feel as if it was really important for me to contribute those. And so when we did it again, I actually then started to contribute a bit more myself and talk about some of my experiences and other people started to open up as well because it always takes one person to just talk and that always stayed with me and I think talking about my mental health.”
“So the more I spoke about the way that I was feeling the more it was helping me and I was like why have I never done this before.”
“Taking my dogs out for a walk is one of the most important things to me in regards to my mental health and just being present.“
“I look at my dogs and think that my dogs believe that every day is a new day. And it is to them even though sometimes we're doing the same walk it's like this the first time they've been on that walk and it's the first time I've discovered that spot and the happiness and the joy that they get from that. And I'm like that's it I suppose that's eternal happiness, isn't it? You know, every day is a new day, therefore we're grateful for it, and we'll enjoy it like it's the first time ever, and that's how my dogs are. “
“So I would think that if I unplugged the phone in by the side of my bed The idea was an electric current going through my body and they were then putting things into me through my phone through Bluetooth”
“it's often people who have psychosis are the ones that feel more threatened than we do when someone is in a psychotic state.”
“I'm quite happy and open to talk about it. Because I'm kind of over that stage. Now, you know, I still have issues with my mental health, and I always will, but I don't allow that to dictate who I am. And I manage that. So, therefore, taking the power away from that. So I know that if I'm feeling a certain way, I'll stick with it. I'll acknowledge it. I'll understand it.”
“I completely shift the way that I look at stuff. And I've completely changed my mindset as in, this is who I am, it's part of me. So, therefore, let it work for me rather than against me. “
“For many, many, many, many years, I never smiled, because number one, I convinced myself that I didn't have a good smile.”
“I've been 273 days sober. So that's really helped. That was always a massive crutch for me, you know, the marriage that me and alcohol had was never a linear process. Let me tell you, but now we've divorced. And yeah, we've had a very conscious uncoupling. Let me put it that way. And I've not looked back since.”
The one piece of advice that I was given I think was you're not alone. You know, that sounds really corny, but you're not, because by sharing or talking about what you're feeling can alleviate so much of that, because it's not yours anymore, because you've shared it. A problem shared is a problem halved.
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Life Coach, CBT Practitioner, Podcaster, MHFA living with MH.
Lee had a breakdown 6 years ago which was the catalyst to turning my life around and qualifying in Occupational and Social welfare supporting Military personal. I'm a MH advocate raising awareness to help those who find it difficult to voice their feelings and helping others to understand us.
After relocating to France, I now run my own online LIfe coaching business supporting my clients with making significant changes to different aspects of their lives to create balance enabling them to take back their power and influence themselves to live a more fulfilled life with intention.
CONNECT WITH LEE
Podcast: The Struggling Mind podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-struggling-mind-podcast/id1565772806
ABOUT THE HOST
Emma Last is a qualified Mental Health and Wellbeing Trainer and Coach. She has co-written both the First Aid Industry body’s accredited First Aid for Mental Health and Wellbeing training for Adults in the workplace and those working with children.
Emma also has over 20-years, experience in leading teams and developing strategies for change. She worked in Senior leadership for a large corporate until early 2018, when she came to a turning point in her career due to being on the brink of burnout and wanted to gain more of a balance in her life. She then rebooted her life and founded her company Progressive Minds.
Emma also works with workplaces and schools on their Mental Health and Wellbeing strategies and provides training and coaching to support employees through challenging and changing times. Emma also works with individuals to help them to perform at their best by working on their mental fitness, which incorporates stress/burnout prevention and resilience and agility development through her Human Reboot Movement Coaching Programme. Her clients say they have become more mentally fit, happier and gain the results they want in their lives.
Her Human Reboot podcast achieved number 22 in the Mental Health category in Mental Health Awareness week. She is a #1 best selling author on Amazon
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Find free resources, training and more info at https://linktr.ee/EmmaLast
If would like to find out how you can improve your wellbeing and results in your business or to find out more about my Rapid Resilience reboot book a free call https://schedulingEmmaLast.as.me/30min
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